So, most of you know that the place I have called home for the last 18 months is not, in fact, my home. My sister Michele has graciously allowed me to share the house my parent own, and for that I am grateful. But, as most of you can relate, I am anxious to move on/move out. I have a million reasons to want to stay--such as cheap rent, half of the utlities, and well, the location is fantastic, but... You know what I mean. (I am looking in Calera. It is a quaint little town, and it never entered my mind to look there. I don't know why--it is really a great town. It is not too far out from where I work, but it is not as close as where I am now. When I first started looking, I thought "WOW--that is a long way away..." It really isn't. UGH!!!! FOCUS, Jenny! Back to the topic at hand) Don't get me wrong--it is not that I am not happy where I am, I just need more room. I need more room for. . .
1. My shoes. Yes. That is really at the top of my list. I have some awesome shoes and CANNOT find them. I hope the moths haven't eaten them.
2. My Dog. He has a huge yard, that he has demolished. He needs his own place where I don't mentally write down how much I am going to have to pay to repair what ever it is he has broken. Too bad the moths can't eat him!!! (JUST KIDDING!!!!)
3. My beautiful Korean furniture (which is worth a lot more than I would like to think I spent on furniture). It is a beautiful reminder of my life in Korea and of all the blessings I experienced while living in Korea. It is also in the garage. In the non-climate controlled garage. I hope the moths haven't eaten them.
4. My hanging clothes... which are currently in my closet, in my armoir, in the hall closet, in my parents closet and in the garage in boxes. The same non-climate controlled garage mentioned above. I hope the moths haven't eaten them.
5. My junk drawer. I don't have one here. So all my junk is strewn around the house. I need a drawer for it. Then I might not have as much.
6. My framed art work. It has no home. No where to be seen and enjoyed. No where to be loved. That is why I had it framed--I love it and want to enjoy it. Hard to do in the non-climate controlled garage.
7. My soul. I need room to be me again. If I am in a foul mood (hard to believe, I know!), I need to be alone. REALLY alone. Out in Calera by myself alone. (Get the picture there?!) If I need the whole living room floor for some inane idea I have for my kids in my classroom, I can have it--no questions asked! Selfish--maybe just a little. But I would give it up, if asked.
8. My relationship with my sister. (Which, in hind sight, should be 1 on my list, not my shoes... She can't be eaten by moths, nor do I want her to be!) She and I truly are good friends, but. . . even the best of friends need space. Michele is an introvert. I am NOT. Michele likes Survivor. I do not. Michele likes to sleep really, really late on Saturdays. I cannot. Michele has put up with a lot from me, over the last 18 months. What started off as a few months turned into 6, then 12, and now 18. Yeah. Some of you think she ought to be sainted. I might agree. But, I want us to keep our close friendship, and living together permanently, is NOT a good idea. We work well together, but better apart. (Sounds like some line a former BF fed me when we broke up!!!!)
9. My independence. I know--I am such an independent spirit! I love to be uninhibited, and FREE! But, I have forgotten what it was like to be independent. I have started to rely on Michele, and I need to rely on myself. I need to be self-sufficient. Until I meet a man and get married, that is. Then I am happy to rely on HIM as much as he wants and I need! Now, I am not talking about leaving God out of the equation, but I am talking about things like remembering to pay the bills on time, and monitoring the thermostat so that the power bill isn't overwhelming each month. THOSE kinds of things. You know, normal ADULT things that you learn as you grow up.
So I just went back and reread this silly little posting, and realized--so many of these things I have listed are so temporal. But valuable, none-the-less. I don't think it is wrong to have posessions, or to enjoy the ones you have. I think God intended for us to enjoy the earth He created and the things in the earth... just not more than we love and enjoy Him. But, anyhow, as I looked over that list, I thought, "A lot of this I would give up when I get married, so why is it so critical now?!" I don't know. I wish I did. Maybe because I don't know when that time will come, or maybe because I think that I cannot think of being married (or finding someone) until I have truly lived on my own. Any ideas?!
Anyhow, as things progress, I will keep you posted. NO, Calera isn't the end of the world, but it might just be the beginning of my world....
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