Home is where the heart is. . .

I went back to Korea last week. It was amazing. It was horrible. Being in Korea should have been like being "home." But, not to sound trite, but... you can never go back home. At least not to the home you remembered. Having lived in Korea for the better part of 22 years, you would think that it was "home." But Korea is not a place that readily accepts non-natives as their own. For as long as I lived there, and as much as I considered Korea my home land, it never considered me a native daughter, or even as an adoptive daughter. I was always a stranger in a strange land. I never felt the rejection as a personal rejection--it wasn't me that was being rejected--but everyone who is not Korean. I knew that, but it didn't change my feelings about the land I grew up in. Going back to Korea last week was a life changing experience. I didn't see enough of the people I wanted to see, and too much of the people I didn't want to see. But, as it turned out, as much as I loved being back in Korea, I was desperate to get back. Not only because of Wally the Wonder Dog, but also because my life has moved forward here--something I had not realized. I knew life in Korea had moved on--it always does. But no matter how much I thought I had not started moving on with my new life, I have. And it is a good thing. Going home is never easy, but once you get there, you realize that you have just left home. And it feels good.

So This is Christmas...

Every year, when Christmas comes around, I get caught up in the whole "I love Christmas, but hate the whole commercialism aspect." But this year, I came to the stark realization that this is Christmas. The Christmas's I remember from my youth are gone. The days of gifts being a $5 coffee cup for my parents are gone. Not because I can't find a $5 coffee cup to buy for them, but really, I think I allow myself to be caught up in what other people will think about what I am getting them. When did the sentiment "It's not the gift, but the thought that counts" cease to be a part of what we believe about Christmas? When the wise men came to worship Jesus after His birth, they brought with them the most valuable items of the day. But, it wasn't the value of gifts that is an important aspect of the story. It was that they brought was they had and that they gave it all to Jesus. It is the whole idea that we are to gift God with what is most valuable to us--our lives, our decisions, and ourselves. It is, in this case, both the gift and the thought that counts. Next year, I hope to be less concerned about what I am giving, and more concerned with the thought behind it--and the reason for the gift. I will use the time to remind myself of the commitment to God I have made, and the value of the gifts to Him I am giving.