10 Years Later

Ten years ago today, my life changed. If there is one event I could change in my lifetime, this would be it. Today is the 10 year anniversary of the attacks on the United States on September 11, 2001. Today is a day of mourning for what was lost--the loss of human life and the loss of a sense of security we had up to that point. The images are astounding, heartbreaking and bewildering--even 10 years down the line. I don't know that I will ever be able to think about that day or see a news piece featuring the events without tears.

As I have watched the coverage and memorials off and on all day I am struck with so many emotions--some easily identifiable such as anger, sadness, and nostalgia of an easier time and some not so easy to pinpoint. But that being said, right now I am grateful.

Yeah--you read that correctly. I am grateful. I am grateful for the sacrifices heroically made by the firemen and women, police men and women and military men and women who have sworn to "protect and serve" and did that day and have every day since and for the every day men and women who risked their lives to help complete strangers. I am grateful that while many rightfully ran away from the devastation, those brave first responders were running towards it, hoping to save the innocent while knowing they were likely running to their deaths. Likely leaving the second wave of victims of the horrible attacks that day--the ones who were left behind and lost their loved ones. The victims who lost their loved ones because they were too brave to run away. To quote a survivor, "The sight of a fireman was a calming sight." Without their leadership (and the leadership of so many others--from the helping hand that pulled many from the rubble to Mayor Giuliani to President Bush and everyone in between), many more lives would have been lost.

I am also grateful that we are 10 years down the road from such a terrible event. We survived. Instead of crumbling under the terrible and oppressive fist that tried to break our spirit and destroy our way of life, we found courage in our fear. Hope in our loss. We have had 10 years to heal our wounds and figure out a new way to be "American." And I think we've done an admirable job of it. Some of our wounds will never heal. Some of our scars we will wear proudly for the world to see. And some we will keep private.

Today in church, our sermon was on joy. One statement stuck out to me so clearly. My pastor, Les Hughes, said (to paraphrase) that the more we are thankful for the more joy we have. And that is not a situational truth. That is a universal and lifetime truth. The more things in this world that I can find some kernel of thankfulness for, the more joy I can find. I don't want to live a life of angst. I don't want to live a life of sorrow. I want to live a life of joy. In order to do that, I must find something to be grateful for in every situation--no matter how heinous or terrible the events might be. And I can think of no more terrible of an event in my lifetime than the attack on our country on September 11, 2001. So today, I am choosing to be grateful for the resilience and compassion of my people and rejoice in the sovereignty of my God.