Monday, September 8, 2008

Sorrow vs. Sadness

I wrote this about 4 weeks ago and am just not getting around to posting it...

Sorrow… That is not a word we use very often. We say sad or maybe even inconsolable. But sorrowful? It isn’t a word we use very much. Tonight, I was confronted head on with the word sorrow and it got me to wondering—what is the difference between sadness and sorrow?

Sadness, according to Webster, is “affected with or expressive of grief or unhappiness.” I am very often sad. I am good at expressing my grief or unhappiness. Sadness, though powerful, is fleeting. It is there for a short time, and eventually fades, like a bruise. I think of it a lot like a vapor—here one minute, but it doesn’t take much for it to be gone the next. I feel sadness—it is in my heart and mind. But there is where it stays.

Sorrow, on the other hand, is different. Sorrow is another ballgame altogether, really. Our good friend Webster defines sorrow as “deep distress, sadness, or regret especially for the loss of someone or something loved.” Hmmmm…. It is missing something, though. I feel as though sorrow has much more to do with our soul than with our feelings.

Sorrow sweeps into our hearts—it saturates our minds, and seeps into the very marrow of who we are. Sadness doesn’t seem to be as pervasive as sorrow. I am able to express my sadness—but my sorrow? I am not able to do that. I can honestly say I can’t express my sorrow. To express that which has caused our deep distress, sadness or regret requires vulnerability. And I don’t show weakness… That is one of my weaknesses.

So what do you do when you are confronted with sorrow, rather than sadness? How do you look someone who is so immersed in sorrow that “I’m sorry” or really any other platitude sounds trite? How do you comfort them? My heart cries out for action, for words—anything, really! But unless you know sorrow, you are useless. All you can do is hold a hand through it. Sometimes that is all that is needed.

Tonight, when I was confronted with raw sorrow, God took my words away. He knew that anything I said would sound forced, fake or insincere. I asked for His ears to listen with, I begged him for His heart to feel with, and His words to comfort.

God definitely gave me his ears—I heard the cry of a broken heart. My heart, in turn, was broken. My heart—my selfish little Grinch-like heart—that sometimes IS two sizes too small, was filled with compassion and love for a friend’s sorrow. God gave me His heart to feel with. But His words? They were nowhere to be found. And I think that was ok…

Well, two out of three isn’t bad! ☺

7 comments:

Danifesto said...

Okay I loved this one as well! I think I've made peace with the sorrow. It's okay to feel it and okay to have it but what's not okay is to stay in sorrow. To stay in that place is to deny the joy of abundant life that Jesus came to Earth to give us. So it's definately a fine line but that's how I've dealt with it.

Unknown said...

all I did was type sorrow vs. sadness into google and found this, but it was quite inspiring.

Sato said...

@Will : Wow, same here.

Hmm. I agree with you about sorrow does more thing to soul. Well, thanks you for providing this.

Hevert said...

I was trying to understand the difference between sadness and sorrow, so I checked a few online dictionaries but I wasn't conviced either. Then I typed sadness vs sorrow and came across this great article. Since English is not my first language, undersanding the slight differences between words that are "synonyms" is hard for me; however, before reading this, I hadn't thougt about the meaning of this word in my own language, which is Spanish: "pena" vs "tristeza". I guess I have a better understanding of this word not only in terms of a concept, but in terms of a deep feeling.

Gene Touch said...

I was enjoying a movie after days of happiness or at least feeling grafteful, blessed and"JOY." Suddenly, slowly my sorrow came. I had nothing to be sad about, and yet my heart hurt sooo much I cried. I asked myself "Where am I" for some reason. Sorrow swallows you into a world of lose (yourself)I made a LOGICAL conclusion that I shouldn't feel this way BECAUSE I HAD/HAVE NO REASON. And that I was being ungrateful to "GOD" after just showing me and giving me the awesome blessings that "HE" has. So I went online and found you. as I'm typing this I have found that we can not truly pin point exactly what causes Sorrow; because it it (as you stated) deals with the soul. My only suggestion/treatment for sorrow is to let yourself cry, understand your not alone in feeling this way and relate your feelings (Sorrow) to someone.Even if it's yourself or someone's article concerning their dealings with sorrow.Misery may love company but sorrow is a lonesome thing.It can not be defeated,cured, or drugged away. Time and introspection is the only way to lessen its (sorrow's) touch. And then it is gone.SOMEWHERE INSIDE. Unfortunanetly not forever. Thankfully for awhile. :-)

Unknown said...

I was preparing a message for this week’s Worship Experience and googled the question, what is the difference in sorrow and sadness. This article is clear, concise but most importantly, inspiring. Thank you for sharing your thoughts through the transparency of your heart.

Unknown said...

Thanks :)