Saturday, January 27, 2007

Home is where the heart is. . .

I went back to Korea last week. It was amazing. It was horrible. Being in Korea should have been like being "home." But, not to sound trite, but... you can never go back home. At least not to the home you remembered. Having lived in Korea for the better part of 22 years, you would think that it was "home." But Korea is not a place that readily accepts non-natives as their own. For as long as I lived there, and as much as I considered Korea my home land, it never considered me a native daughter, or even as an adoptive daughter. I was always a stranger in a strange land. I never felt the rejection as a personal rejection--it wasn't me that was being rejected--but everyone who is not Korean. I knew that, but it didn't change my feelings about the land I grew up in. Going back to Korea last week was a life changing experience. I didn't see enough of the people I wanted to see, and too much of the people I didn't want to see. But, as it turned out, as much as I loved being back in Korea, I was desperate to get back. Not only because of Wally the Wonder Dog, but also because my life has moved forward here--something I had not realized. I knew life in Korea had moved on--it always does. But no matter how much I thought I had not started moving on with my new life, I have. And it is a good thing. Going home is never easy, but once you get there, you realize that you have just left home. And it feels good.

1 comment:

Danifesto said...

That is awesome! I felt the same way going back to Kansas. It was lovely and amazing and yet somehow, didn't fit me anymore. I had outgrown it. I had changed without ever realizing it. I'm so glad you had this trip! Good to remember memories fondly but all too often we fall into regretful longing of the past forgeting that we have moved on!