Floaties of Hope

Growing up, I was always what you might call really buoyant.  I was definitely not afraid of the water—I was a fish.  And I floated really well.  My friends all went through the typical stages of swimming—toes in the water, blowing bubbles and floaties.  I liked the idea of floaties but I never really needed them.  Any opportunity I had to swim at the pool or the ocean, I took it.  I was not afraid of the water—or the possible dangers of jumping into the deep end.  I was fearless.  I can’t recall a childhood summer memory (good or bad!) that doesn’t involve the pool or have the smell of the ocean attached to it.   

About 6 months ago I lost my job.  Anyone who’s read my previous blog post on here knows that I knew unemployment was coming.  I thought—oh how I thought!—I was prepared for it.  I had nearly a year of God’s faithfulness to get ready.  But when the call from my boss came, it was almost like a physical blow to the stomach.  I was prepared as much as I thought I could be.  And I was completely unaware of the journey I was about to take.  I am generally an optimist but for once I was adrift and I seemed to have forgotten how to swim. 

I think God does that on purpose—if we actually knew what we were going to encounter beforehand, we wouldn’t take a single step.  I honestly thought I’d have a job after 6 weeks of unemployment and be good to go.  But I didn’t and I wasn’t.  But my hope did not fail.  I knew—I just knew—by the end of the month, I would have a job.  Each month came and went and still no job.  What was worse is that after the first few weeks there weren’t even nibbles.  If I thought I was adrift and lost beforehand, it was nothing compared to this.  All of a sudden, I was bewildered, and paddling just to keep my head above water—both emotionally and financially.

However God has been throwing me floaties of hope all along the way.  Like a 3 year old afraid of jumping into the pool I strap the floatie onto my arm and keep plodding along.  I can’t pay my mortgage?  No problem.  God provides through the kindness of strangers.  I need a renter for my house?  No problem.  A young couple are looking for a house and home to start their lives together and mine is perfect for them.  I need a place to live?  No problem.  My family takes me and my naughty dog in, no questions asked, no expectations given. 

Hundreds of resumes, cover letters, and applications later I am still saying, “By the end of the month…”  But there are days when I really don’t believe it anymore.  Just when I get to the point of giving up, another floatie appears.  I strap it on and keep plodding.   

To quote my sister “Sometimes even the optimist needs someone to hope for them.”  And that is when another floatie appears. 

True story. 

Anxiety Stinks...

I am at a stage in my life where things are rather precarious.  (I always imagine Mike Tyson saying "precarious" when I use that word!)  About 2 years ago, I lost my teaching job.  I was crushed.  I was devastated.  I was in denial.  I was numb.  I cannot remember a lot of the summer of 2010 because I was in shock.  But, in His true fashion, God swooped in and provided me a job.  And I was grateful.  And about a year ago, when I found out my position was again, precarious, God provided.  He allowed my contract with HMH to be extended for 6 months, then in December, He allowed it to be extended another 6 months.  God provided and came through in a HUGE way.  And I am grateful. 

Now, with just a few months left on my contract, I have that uneasy feeling that my contract won't be extended.  Even last year at this point when I was in a shaky situation, I didn't have this feeling of unease.  Somehow I knew I would still be with HMH for at least 6 months.  It was either divine understanding or sheer stupidity.  I am not sure which!  So, anyhow, all that to say I am not sure.  In fact, I am fairly certain that I won't be with HMH after August 13th.  Scary. 

And I have begun to plan for that event, should it happen.  I have figured out where I will move (so I can rent my house out and not lose it), what type of jobs I can take, where to store my furniture, and where to have a garage sale to get rid of my unnecessaries.  All of this "just in case."  All of this to tell God--what ever you send me, I will handle.  But in the midst of this, I am still scared and nervous.  I wouldn't be human if I weren't.  (Thanks to my Dad for that reminder!)  I am trying to be excited about what God will bring--I know what He has planned is 1 billion times more wonderful than what I am imagining, but it is hard to be excited. 

My first year teaching in Vestavia Hills, I found this prayer--I don't know where I got it, but I loved it.  I printed it off in a fun font and have had it at my desk ever since.  They prayer goes like this:

Heavenly Father,


In my present need, help me to believe that you are aware of my anxiety and will do what is best for me.  Give me the strength to trust you and put the present and future in your hands.


Grant this in Christ our Lord....

To personalize it for me, it should look like this:


Heavenly Father,


In my present need of worldly provision, help me to know, trust, credit, and consider that you are mindful, cognizant, responsive to and interested in my anxiety and will do what is greatest, unsurpassed, preeminent and top for me.  Provide me the power and might to trust you and put the present and future in your hands.


Grant this in Christ our Lord....


I need to make this my daily prayer--no matter my circumstance.

Why Can't We all Just Get Along?

Why can't we all just get along?

Love [luhv] (v.):

1. to have love or affection for.
2. to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person).
3. to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in.
4. to need or require; benefit greatly from.


There are no problems that are too big to solve with gentle words, a hug, and a pat on the back. When did we outgrow this simple mindset? I've been watching some news and checking my Facebook page lately and I am seeing that acceptance is hard to find any more. (Acceptance--not to be confused with tolerance--you can accept someone while not tolerating their beliefs or actions. It's a tricky balance, but I am fairly certain it can be found.)

I see a lot of hate out there towards conservatives and liberals alike. I've seen, so often lately, "I can't believe democrats/liberals/republicans/conservatives believe this!" or "What kind of an idiot do you have to be to think that?" Well, when I see those things, it means me. The author of such words may not be thinking of me directly when they compose their thoughts to share with the world, but when I read them, I insert my name into the sentence. And sometimes it hurts.

If you knew how many responses I have written in my head to respond to the vitriol I see, you would be shocked. (Well, some of you would be!) But I don't write it. I don't respond. I bite my tongue and tell myself that it's water off a ducks back. Then I choose to believe it. The two year old in me, however, wants to say to these authors "Do you realize that I think you are just as big of an idiot for your beliefs that you think I am for mine?" But I don't. Until now.

I wish we could all be more like kids. Not those mean kids who are bullies and hateful--we seem to have that down pat, but those beautiful kids who have pure hearts and innocent minds. Those kids. Those kids rarely put themselves down. They choose to believe the best about their world within and the world outside. If they can do it, why can't we? Why can't we believe the best about our own world and the world we live in and those who live in that world? Why do we have to divide ourselves into 2 groups? Why can't we be the loved and the loving instead of the self-righteous and the impure? Or the right and the wrong? Where are the words to heal the hurts that have been inflicted?

Anymore, the power of words needs to be followed by the power of action. Instead of getting frustrated and speaking out words that tear down, why can't we agree to disagree, in love? Why does it matter what your political, religious or social beliefs are? That doesn't change the fact that you are a person of value. You deserve more than being called an idiot, stupid or ignorant. That phrase "Sticks and stones my break my bones but words can never hurt me" is a lie. Words hurt an awful lot.

A gentle word, a hug and a pat on the back... Can you think of a better solution for those word wounds?

Leftovers

Anyone who knows me know that I do not like to eat leftovers. It is painful for me to have to survive on the same dish for several meals in a row. OK, so that may be overstating things, but I would definitely prefer to eat cereal for dinner than leftovers. I know. I get bored so easily that I struggle with leftovers. That seems a bit ridiculous but there it is, none the less.

The other day, I was perusing through my Facebook page, as I often do, and a friends status jumped out at me. She had written down John 6:12-13 as her status. I couldn't tell you what the rest of her status said, but the following stood out: "After everyone was full, Jesus told his disciples, 'Now gather the leftovers, so that nothing is wasted.' So they picked up the pieces and filled twelve baskets with scraps left by the people who had eaten from the five barley loaves."

These verses, of course, come from the feeding of the 5000+--one of the most well known stories from Jesus' ministry. As I sat there, letting my mind ponder the depths of these verses, I kept thinking how amazing it is--out of so little given, there was so much left over. And that is how it is in my life.

When I look at my life, I stress out so much over the bills (sometimes rightly so!), over having "enough," or running out of something that I forget this one truth: God can make a meager scrap go beyond my wildest imaginings, with leftovers.

Earlier in John 6, the story tells of Jesus asking Phillip where they can get enough bread to provide for the huge crowd that followed them. Jesus already knew of the offering that was being brought forward and the pure heart of the child who was offering it to him. Jesus wanted to see what Phillip's reaction was going to be. And guess what?! Phillip's reaction was exactly what mine would have been--he said (v. 7), "Even if we work for months, we wouldn't have enough money to feed them." Phillip looked at the situation with the perspective of an overwhelmed (and probably harried!) provider. He seems a bit of a pessimist, if you ask me!

Andrew was a little better, though not much! Andrew brings the child to Jesus with the 5 loaves and 2 fish, but says (v. 9), "There's a young boy here with five barley loaves and two fish. But what good is that with this huge crowd?" Andrew brought a solution to his Lord, but didn't have the faith to see beyond the physical limitations. If Phillip is a defeatist, then Andrew is more of a realist.

I look at the reaction of Phillip and Andrew and can't help but wonder of their reactions are our most common reactions we have when we come across a seemingly insurmountable problem. Do we react with defeat and wonder how God can turn what I am holding into enough, like Phillip? Or, do we look at the world through the eyes of Andrew and see the physical limitations of what we have to offer?

Jesus, knowing how both Phillip and Andrew would react, took the small offering and gave thanks with a humble heart. John doesn't go into the prayer Jesus prayed, but I am fairly certain it was heart felt and genuine. After he gave thanks, Jesus instructed the disciples to pass out the food to the people on the hill. Can you imagine the looks of shock on the disciples faces as they got to the end of the rows, expecting an empty basket, but finding a basket that was full, none the less? Priceless, I am sure.

Then, when Jesus asked the disciples to go and gather what was left over, they found that there was more left over than there was to begin with. I bet there were a lot of minds blown that day.

In my life, when I look at what I have been blessed with--my meager 5 loaves and 2 fish, how do I react? Do I worry and stress out over the limitations of what I have been given? Do I show God what I have but not trust in His ability to make it enough? Or do I humbly pray, offering my genuine thanks for the blessings I am holding, and ask God to make it enough?

I don't need to worry about how to make my dollar go a bit further, or how to make my time last long. By praying with thankfulness and through faith, instead of struggling to be self-sufficient, God can make a meager scrap go beyond my wildest imaginings, with leftovers. Thankfully. Blessedly. Assuredly.

Stuff Christian (Girls) Like

OK, so SCL had a guest post by John Crist about Stuff Christian (Guys) Like. I would like to offer my rebuttal:

*(Please note this is all tongue-in-cheek!)

Stuff Christian (Girls) Like:

Let’s face it—adages are often repeated because there is always some grain of truth in them.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder—yep! We’ve all seen the guy/girl who’s married WAY up. All that glitters is not gold—yep! We’ve all had our dream date only to find that a pretty smile and blank stares can only keep you interested for SO long. And girls always like the bad boys—yep. We all know the girl who thought she could “turn” him back to God. Many of us WERE the girl who thought we could “turn” him back to God.

Good girls, well, we like the bad boy, but we Christian girls LOVE the reformed bad boy. But how can you tell if he’s a bad boy or (to quote one of the biggest put downs from high school) a poser?

So here is MY Reformed Bad Boy Score Card:

Drives a motorcycle: +5 points

Drives an SUV/Truck: +0 points

Drives a sedan: -2 points

Drives a Prius: -5 points

Has at least one item made of leather in their wardrobe: +3 points

Has at least one pair of pleated khaki’s: -3 points

5 O’clock shadow because he just rolled out of bed: +2 points

5 O’clock shadow that has been groomed: -2 points

Plays the guitar: +3 points

Plays World of Warcraft: -3 points

Spent some time in rehab (substance or alcohol) AND kicked the habit: +2 points

Spent some time in rehab (physical therapy): +0 points

(EXCEPTION: If physical rehab was a direct result of motorcycle accident: +5 points)

Has a few years of Jr. College under his belt: +1 point per year

Has NO higher education under his belt: +3 points (Flat rate)

Has at least one story about a scar that begins with “I was riding on my bike when…” and he’s referring to his motor cycle: +2 points

Has at least one story about a scar that begins with “I was riding on my bike when…” and he’s referring to his Huffy: -1 point

(EXCEPTION: Mountain biking: +1 point)

Doesn’t need product to make his hair look tousled: +2 points

Needs product to make his hair lay down: -2 points

Spends 30 minutes using product to make his hair look tousled: -5 points

Doesn’t believe in social media: +7 points

(EXCEPTION: Has a Facebook account ONLY to keep up with his friends from his multiple backpacking/missions trips around the world: +2 points)

Has a Twitter, Facebook, and Pinterest account: -3 points PER ACCOUNT. Double for Pinterest.

Facebook profile pic is the generic blue man: +4 points

Facebook profile pic is of his dog: +0 points

Facebook profile pic is of him with ANYONE else: -4 points

(EXCEPTION: Profile pic is of him and his mom: +1 point)

So there he is—the golden (reformed) bad boy of the sanctuary. What is on your “Reformed Bad Boy Score Card?”