Things that make you go hmmmm....

No--I am not going to break into song and sing "Things That Make You Go Hmmmm...." It is too late at night for that and I am putting off dusting by writing this blog. I was reading my friend Dan's blog and he was writing about things that confuse him. So, I started my own list... Here goes:

OK, so the one thing that really gets me is the Braille on the drive through ATM at the bank. Really? If you need Braille to help you get money out of your bank account, then MAYBE you don't need to be driving. Just a thought... :)

Another thing that makes me laugh is the directions on how to use a western toilet on the seats in rural Korea, China, Japan... fill in the blank. It just cracks me up!

One of the things that really baffles me is change stealing... I was at a restaurant with my family recently, and my tab came to something like $9.22. I gave her a $20 and she gave me a $10 back. I was thinking "Really?!" it's not the $0.78 that bothers me. It is the principle of it.

To borrow one from Dan--stupid book covers. When I pick up a book to read, I don't want to see some quote from the New England Lobster Fisherman's Weekly that I need a thesaurus to translate--"Mr. Doe's brilliant masterpiece brings together a subtle message with a brash and irreverent sense of humor." Huh? So what is the book about? Give me names, basic plot outlines.

Skinny jeans: Unless you are Heidi Klum, buy a baggier cut. And there is only one Heidi Klum.

Eyebrow piercing: I was at lunch yesterday with a friend and this guy across the restaurant had one. I will admit to having shiny object syndrome, but honestly, it was all I could focus on until he finally stood up and left the restaurant... It was insane.

Anyhow, I could go on and on, but then it turns into complaining when in reality, I am just confused--not whiny! So, now that you know the things that make my eyebrows furrow, what are some things that make YOU go hmmm?

Homeless

The old saying “Home is where the heart is” has been ringing in my ears for the last hour or so. You see, I am on odd breed—I am never “home.” If I am at my house in Calera, my house in Korea is home. When I was living in Korea, Pelham was home. I am, in essence, homeless. Maybe part of it is my semi-bohemian childhood—never the same house for more than 4 years. Maybe it is an indication of my souls’ condition. Maybe… I was “created for a place I've never known” to borrow a quote from This is Home, by Switchfoot (thanks, Lindsey!). This sense of homelessness is tiring.

Home, truly, is where your heart is. And my home should be in the embrace of God—my savior, father and life’s breath. And yet, here I am—homeless. Seeking the place that keeps my soul at rest. Why is it that I can’t seem to find my home? Is it because finding my home means giving my heart—part and parcel to God? Is it because it means that I will be giving up the control over my life?

The song continues:

And now after all
My searching
After all my questions
I'm gonna call it home

And then, like a ton of bricks, it hit me—I am homeless by choice. I have chosen this life of semi-servitude. I have chosen to take the world’s unstable promises built on desperation instead of the promise of His everlasting shelter. It is MY choice to call Him home.

Choice is a dangerous thing. I am free to choose every last detail of my life—because Jesus chose to redeem me on the cross. At any point, Jesus could have left the cross and the tortuous pain that was separation from God. And yet He chose to stay. He chose to give me the freedom that I now use to walk away. Choice has brought me a lot of joy—I know my God and creator of all things. But, choice has gotten me into a lot of trouble, too. Why is it that I can’t allow my heart to find its’ way home?

In Psalm 61, David cries out to God—he says:

Hear my cry, O God;
listen to my prayer.
From the ends of the earth I call to you,
I call as my heart grows faint;
lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
For you have been my refuge,
a strong tower against my foe.
I long to dwell in your tent forever
and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.

My heart continually echoes David’s cry. I long for God to be my “rock that is higher than I,” and my refuge, my tower. I long to dwell in the tent of the Lord forever. I long to go home.

My life in 6 words...

My friend Dan posted about summing your life up in a 6 word sentence.  That is so hard!  Here are a few thoughts for me....

Unworthily, she was loved unconditionally.

Oh wait--that is just 5 words.  Let's try this one...

Home's where she hung her heart. 

That one is OK, but not great.  Too vague.

Wandering feet always brought her home.  

That is pretty good.  But again, not great.  This is really harder than it looks.  

I will keep thinking on it.  Meanwhile--how would you sum up your life in 6 words?!  Choose carefully!

Just call me Gomer

Uhm... no. Not The Mayberry version of Gomer--but Gomer. Hosea's wife, Gomer. You see, in the story of Hosea, Gomer is a prostitute. She leaves the lover of her soul to be with other men--other loves. Each time Gomer leaves, Hosea goes after her and takes her back home. Each time she leaves--no matter how much trouble she gets into, Hosea goes back to find her and take her back home. At one point, he even purchases her back out of bondage. Hosea--a prophet of Jehovah God, is in a marriage to a woman who abuses his love, trust, and sleeps with other men, and yet he takes her back unconditionally.
I am Gomer. No--I am not a prostitute. But I do leave the lover of my soul for another love. I leave my God to pursue other gods--security, love, selfishness... the list goes on. You see, I sell myself into worldliness--away from Godliness.
But here is where my story diverges from Gomer's. Hosea was commanded each time to go and bring Gomer back. When God seeks me out, it is purely out of His desire for me, not because He is commanded to. I mean really--who would send Him?! But the beauty of this story is mind blowing. I am God's treasure. He values me--and seeks me out. No matter where I run, He goes after me, and brings me back home.
Hosea gave consequences to Gomer--she was forbidden to be with any man--Hosea included. After a suitable period, Gomer was allowed to resume her intimate relationship with Hosea. Whenever I run, God allows me to face consequences--but the end reward is always His blessings.
What have I done to deserve such an awesome God?! Provider for my soul--Mountain of strength, brook of respite, and the fragrance that my soul longs for.

God Thunders--and I Quake

A while back, I blogged about wanting God to thunder in my life. What was I thinking? 
Back when I was in high school, a couple of my friends--not my closest friends, but close enough, were in a band. This was just as Smashing Pumpkins were getting popular. Their signature song (or at least the one I remember them for) was "Today" by the SPs. It says "Today is the greatest day you've ever known..." And just like most of my blogs, a song triggers my mental meandering. Today is NOT the greatest day... 
My dad went in for a routine heart procedure and ended up having to have a triple bypass. Not how I anticipated the day going. Yesterday, I wrote about running from God. He sure has an interesting way of reminding me that I need to be running towards Him, not away from Him. A few weeks ago, I got an email from my Dad. He was so positive--it blows my mind. His faith is so inspiring. Here are a few lines from his letter...
"I'm counting on your prayers as Mom and I go through this together. I don't know what all will be involved in the days ahead but I can say with assurance the this did not catch our Father by surprise and He knows every turn that it will take and He is going to be honored through it."
These last few weeks have been a bit like this game of hide-and-go-seek. Except I am at a disadvantage. It is like when you play with your little niece, nephew, and they think they are so clever. I am thinking that I am so clever, but I am not. I am the farthest thing from it. God knows where I am hiding--and today He called me out. He told me--"Enough, Jenny. Enough hiding. You NEED me. You are being stubborn and selfish and stupid. You need me and you need to admit it." God thundered at me today. 
I think I want the snow back.